Book Review: The Sweet Spot: Finding Your Groove at Home and Work

Considering that it’s only the third week in January, I know it seems premature to say this—but if you read only one book in 2015, I believe it should be Dr. Christine Carter’s The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work.

The reason I feel so strongly about this book is that, once you’ve read it, you’ll feel like you can begin to design a life in which you have plenty of time to read all the other books on your list for 2015. Or plenty of time to see all the movies you want. Or plenty of time to spend with friends. Plenty of time for whatever matters most to you.

Dr. Carter, an author and sociologist at the Greater Good Science Center, offers a much-needed perspective on what it means to “have it all” and advice on how to feel fulfilled and successful while enjoying life. She describes how we live in a culture in which “fun, rest, relaxation, and flow have been squeezed out of our lives in the pursuit of more.”

We work long hours so that we can keep our jobs or earn more money so we can buy more stuff. We sign up our kids for every activity to ensure that they get into the best schools and, then, get the best jobs, so—if they’re anything like us—they can work long hours to earn more money to buy more stuff. Then we employ tactics like multitasking and using technology to cram more into each day, which often backfires. It backfired for Dr. Carter a few years ago, leaving her sick and exhausted and far less productive and happy than she is now.

Woven throughout the book is Dr. Carter’s story of how, after she burned out, she found her sweet spot: the zone where she had the greatest strength, but also the greatest ease. And that’s one reason I find this book so incredibly useful.

While presenting the latest neurological and psychological research on positivity and productivity, Dr. Carter describes how she has translated these findings into action plans in her own life. So, for example, she writes about the idea of picking your top 5 priorities in life and then spending 95 percent of your time doing only those activities (and saying “no” to virtually everything else). Then, she goes on to describe her current five top priorities and gives examples of decisions that she’s made and how she filters them through this framework.

I’ve already implemented one recommended change from the book that I know will significantly improve my life. Dr. Carter writes about how we often feel like we don’t have enough time to maintain our friendships. The complexity and logistical nightmare of scheduling with our similarly overworked and overwhelmed friends means that most of us just give up. But there’s an antidote that Dr. Carter calls “finding friendship efficiencies.” And one action plan she recommends is “ritualizing” your relationships. This is certainly not a new concept—every parenting magazine tells parents that it’s crucial to schedule a regular date night. Yet most of us don’t.

But, after reading about all the fun Dr. Carter is having with her regular discussion group meetings, lunch dates, annual getaways, and more, I felt inspired to give it a shot. And I felt especially encouraged by her admission that she probably misses these outings more often than she attends, but also knows that she sees her friends a lot more than she otherwise would. So, now, on the third Thursday of every month, I have a phone lunch date with one of my best friends who lives a few states away. I also agreed to join and take turns hosting a monthly dinner and cards night with local friends. And I bought concert tickets for my husband and me—and, while not a ritualized event, it’s a start!

We live in a culture that celebrates busyness and perpetuates the message that those who are busy are important and powerful while those who are idle (or even those who make time for leisure) are slackers whose lives lack meaning and relevance. Dr. Carter is proof that we do not need to sacrifice success in order to be happier, and we don’t have to compromise our happiness in order to be successful at work. And her book serves as a wonderful guide for those of us who are looking to live lives focused on more of what matters—and less of what doesn’t.