Embracing Letting Go: Unintentional and Intentional Simplifying

At the age of 15, my life was unintentionally simplified when my family’s home was destroyed by a tornado while I sat in a car in the driveway. Hundreds of homes were destroyed in the path of the twister’s destruction, and 29 lives were lost.

In a matter of seconds, my world was turned upside down. I was blessed to be alive, as were my sisters who were in the house at the time. I quickly learned at this young age that the most important things in life were not the things that had once filled my home.

I wish I could say that, ever since that hot, humid day in August, I have never again placed too much value on physical possessions. But I can’t.

In the years following the tornado, I filled my life and home with “things.” I spent over 20 years doing everything I was “supposed to do” in pursuit of the “American dream.” I excelled in school and achieved a successful career as a result. I got married, bought a house, and had three kids. I bought everything I was led to believe that we needed to support a family. We even put an addition on our house so that we would have room for all of our “stuff.”

My life was very full.

Yet it had become very unfulfilling. 

Although the success that I had achieved looked impressive to many from the outside, on the inside, I was suffering. I was tired. I was frustrated. I was anxious. I yelled at my kids. I placed blame on others. I rarely smiled. I was just not a happy person.

I was grateful for my family, but I was suffocating from the “typical suburban life” that I was living. I had become a slave to my home, my possessions, and my career. I was wishing away my days, waiting for the weekends. Yet when the weekends came, I spent them taking care of all of the things that I had acquired. I dreamed of vacations and of time off, and I longed for the days when I could finally relax and do the things that brought me joy. 

Eventually, after experiencing far too many years of stressful mornings, tense evenings, and physical and mental exhaustion, I concluded that I could not continue living this way. It wasn’t healthy for me, and it wasn’t healthy for my family.

I realized that the life that I was dreaming of was not simply going to be handed to me. My reality was only going to change if I made it happen—if I intentionally created a new path. 

Fully acknowledging this realization, I decided to stop waiting. With a life coach and a group of like-minded, inspiring individuals by my side, I set off on a new path. I intentionally began simplifying my life, one “thing” at a time. 

Over the course of a year and a half, I shed years of accumulated physical possessions—items that, when honestly confronted, were nothing more than attempts to fill voids that ultimately could never be filled with trips to the store or packages delivered to our door. It wasn’t until I started intentionally letting go of these things that I realized what a burden they actually were. They had robbed me of my time, my money, and my sanity. 

As I emptied closets and cleaned out cabinets, I embraced the opportunity to decide what supported me in the life that I longed for and what kept me from achieving it. Unlike that life-changing day in August 22 years earlier, this time I had control over what stayed and what went. 

And, as each burden was released, I felt the space around me and inside me increase. I could breathe. I could think. I could smile. I was happier, and my family was happier.

During this journey of intentional simplifying, my family and I let go of nearly 75 percent of our possessions. We sold our “more than enough” house, and I bid farewell to my corporate accounting career.

And I’m thrilled that my life is now full, once again. Not full of unfinished projects, overflowing closets, or a filled–to-the-max crawl space, but instead full of joy. Joy from realizing all of the things that I had dreamed of, and more. 

My family and I now live in Maine, and I have realized my dream to live near the ocean. I meet my kids when they get off the bus each day. I spend summer afternoons at the beach looking for sea glass and watching seagulls pluck crackers from unattended beach bags. I’m traveling and showing my kids the world around them. And I’m spreading my joy doing work that I love.

I’m living this life because I intentionally chose to take action and make a change. Breaking free from my default life has required focus and perseverance, and it’s required creativity and faith. 

Although I’ve let go of a lot, simplifying has never been about seeing how little I can live with or how many donation bags I can fill. Instead, it’s been a process of creating space and ultimately filling my life with what I love and what brings me joy. 

I’m grateful for the path that I’ve traveled, and I’m blessed to have finally discovered the life that I longed for, hiding just below all of the things that once consumed me. I’m often asked if I have any regrets about anything I’ve let go of, and my answer remains the same: there are no “things” I regret letting go. My only regret is that I didn’t pursue a simpler life sooner.

My family and I now live in Maine, and I have realized my dream to live near the ocean. I meet my kids when they get off the bus each day. I spend summer afternoons at the beach looking for sea glass and watching seagulls pluck crackers from unattended beach bags. I’m traveling and showing my kids the world around them. And I’m spreading my joy doing work that I love.

I’m living this life because I intentionally chose to take action and make a change. Breaking free from my default life has required focus and perseverance, and it’s required creativity and faith. 

Although I’ve let go of a lot, simplifying has never been about seeing how little I can live with or how many donation bags I can fill. Instead, it’s been a process of creating space and ultimately filling my life with what I love and what brings me joy. 

I’m grateful for the path that I’ve traveled, and I’m blessed to have finally discovered the life that I longed for, hiding just below all of the things that once consumed me. I’m often asked if I have any regrets about anything I’ve let go of, and my answer remains the same: there are no “things” I regret letting go. My only regret is that I didn’t pursue a simpler life sooner.